True Detective: Premiere Recap (NSFW)

“We get the world we deserve.”

That is the tagline for Season 2 of True Detective and it accurately describes the theme I felt throughout the entire first episode. By the end, it was made pretty clear that we are dealing with some very fucked up individuals this season, and in turn, they will get a very fucked up world.

The first thing that really jumped off the page to me is the severity of the main characters’ demons. In Season 1, the characters had their problems to deal with, and yes, many times those issues took them over and really fucked with their lives, but things rarely got to the level that we saw in this past episode. Ray Velcoro (Colin Farrell) is a madman. We saw him beat the shit out of two people (possibly killing one of them) and traumatizing two 12 year olds (one of them his “son.” I think it’s supposed to be implied that he is a product of the rape on Ray’s ex-wife.) in the process. I assume the first guy was a job he was hired to do and the second one was clearly personal. “I’ll butt-fuck your dad with your mom’s headless corpse on the front lawn,” might just be the greatest quote in history. It appears Ray Velcorro does not have any qualms with violence. He obviously works for Frank Seymon (Vince Vaughn) and appears to be an alcoholic as well as a coke head. I think it’s fair to say this guy has some issues.

I definitely wouldn't ask this guy to babysit

“And the Emmy for ‘Most Outstanding Mustache’ goes to…”

Rachel McAdams plays a County Sherriff named Antigone (Ani) Bezzerides. In the first scene we see her in, she walks out of the bedroom halfway dressed (dat ass doe) followed by a guy. They started talking about a bedroom issue that was Ani wanting to do something and the guy being surprised that she wanted to do that and his uncertainty killed the mood for her. It was totally weird and my first instinct was they were talking about anal but it could be role-playing or some other aggressive shit. Whatever it was it’s apparent she’s a freak in the bedroom and her sister calls her a slut a few scenes later. Her family seems pretty fucked up and she also likes to drink and gamble, how much exactly we don’t know.

“Is that Tim Riggins?”

Paul Woodrugh (Tim Riggins (Taylor Kitsch)) is a highway patrolman that got suspended for reportedly receiving a blowey from a chick to let her get away with a DUI. He seems very adamant that it’s untrue and it seems like he’s telling the truth. He’s ex-military and has scars all over, some from his service, some from beforehand. He secretly takes a Viagra before having sex with his girlfriend and she mentions that he’s never stayed over. He leaves in the middle of the night and speeds away on his motorcycle, passing 100 mph before turning off his lights and riding straight into the darkness. This could have been a possible suicide attempt until he chickened out and turned his lights back on, but I think it was more to show that he some clear trauma/trust issues from his past and now he might just be an adrenaline junky looking for some way to feel alive again.

He is getting a blowjob in this picture. Must not be very good.

Strange choice of blowjob face

Frank Seymon didn’t get too much screen time this episode but I expect his character to fully get flushed out before the Season really gets going. He’s definitely an Underground boss with some serious connections and he’s putting together a team of investors to build a huge highway through California. His partner has been missing for two days before he turns up murdered at the end. This is sure to put a little wrinkle in his plans. Frank was talking to some super rich Russian guy that seems shady, so we’ll keep an eye on him.

“Holy shit, that is Tim Riggins.”

Not too much happened this episode, as it was mainly establishing characters and putting the plot in motion with the discovery of a body. Like I said in the beginning, these are some fucked up individuals. I’m super excited to see how it all plays out and to get some more information on the crime. The critics are obviously just butt-hurt because there’s no more Russ Cole. This Season is going to be awesome.


  • Shout out to that chick singing in the bar. I wish that song was the opening theme song, it seemed to fit the general vibe perfectly. (Lera Lynn – My Least Favorite Life for those who are interested.)
  • Paul Woodrugh = Jorah Mormont?? Wouldn’t be the craziest thing in either True Detective or Game of Thrones. Either way, Paul Woodrugh has greyscale. Confirmed.

    “At least I’m getting laid.”

  • Shouts out to Birdman, which if you haven’t seen you should immediately stop what you’re doing and go watch it. Animal masks are creepy. People who where them while they kill people are super creepy. I like where this is going.

    Killer = Birdman confirmed???

    Killer = Birdman confirmed???

  • I love the weird creepy things in the background of the victim’s house.

    “Move along. Nothing to see here people. Just a Barbie in some milk.”

  • Need I say more?

– Brett O’Brien (@iSTALKbrett), Co-Founder, Co-President, Editor-in-Chief, Breaker of Chains and Mother of Dragons


About Brett O'Brien

Hello, oh beloved reader. My true name takes over five minutes to pronounce so these days I go by my human name, Brett O'Brien. I'm currently dual majoring in Journalism and Writing Arts at Rowan University where I helped found Tau Delta Phi fraternity. My favorite things about the world include the Philadelphia Eagles, books, drinking beer outside, and Kelly Clarkson. I strongly believe that all dogs are boys, all cats are girls, and that nobody should be allowed to wear cowboy hats. I'm the Co-Founder/President and Editor-in-Chief for Writing Wrongs and I wish more than anything to become a successful novelist. Everything I do in life is done solely to distract me from the wait for The Winds of Winter. Hurry, George, hurry.

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